Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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