So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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