She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
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