apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i dont even know how to be here
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
