Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
