Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
