hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
