No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
