I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
