why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
