i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
When are your genitals available?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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