my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
