In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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