we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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