And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
