I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
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with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
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you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.