Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.

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(614): View more from Ohio

how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.

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(815): View more from Illinois

He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(623): View more from Arizona

Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Whatever you gave me is making me lactate

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(904): View more from Florida

Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.

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(214): View more from Texas

I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.

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(801): View more from Utah

Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?

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