The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015