I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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