Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
