What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
