I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
