How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
