You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
