with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
