i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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