i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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