Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
