I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
