double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
