Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
