Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
he's single and there are thong briefs.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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