My first STD was from a foam party
I think my vagina is haunted
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
