Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have surprise drugs for everyone
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
