While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize