I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize