I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
