I think I died a long time ago.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm passing your future prison.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
