It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize