I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
