I cockslap morals
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
