My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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