Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
