you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
