It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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