Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
