He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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