I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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