dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
