New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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