i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
