And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
