Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
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But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
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Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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