Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
