I think I died a long time ago.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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