sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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