im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
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I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
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If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
There's even glitter on my cock...
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