I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
