So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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