All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Randomize
