Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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