I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
