it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize