she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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