I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
