there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
