you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
