The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
