bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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