So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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