Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
